HERE’S WHY THIS MATTERS:
Half of people who attempt suicide and survive say they thought about it for 10 minutes or less. So often we hear from suicide survivors that they “missed the signs,” but the sad truth is that suicide is often an impulsive decision. It can happen when no one is around, and firearm suicide attempts are almost always fatal. The most effective way to prevent firearms suicide is to have a plan in place before someone hits rock bottom.
With the Proactive Family Guide, we’re equipping military spouses, family members, and service members to foster a family conversation about firearms in the home, and create a plan in case someone starts to struggle.
Because it’s better to have a plan and not need it, than to need a plan and not have it.
A few facts about child and youth mental health and suicide:
Suicide is the second leading cause of death for kids and teens
The rate of suicide among children and adolescents has increased 80% in the last decade
Just like with adults, kids who live in a home with a firearm are not more likely to attempt a suicide, they are just more likely to die from it, because their attempts are almost fatal.
Proactive Family Plans aren’t just about kids. A few facts about suicide risk, relationships, and other factors:
Marital/intimate partner relationship problems are the single most common factor preceding military suicide.
Relationship conflict precedes nearly half of Army suicides.
30-40% when someone attempts suicide, they are legally intoxicated.
Just like with adults, kids who live in a home with a firearm are not more likely to attempt a suicide, they are just more likely to die from it, because their attempts are almost fatal.
A few ideas:
YOUR SPOUSE OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER:
Do you or your spouse – or both of you – own and use firearms? Now is the time to make a plan! At the Overwatch Project, we believe that one of the most important ways firearms owners protect their families is by having a plan in place in case of a future crisis. This is especially important if you have kids in the home, as they often experience unpredictable ups and downs.
SINGLE SOLDIER:
This isn’t just about spouses and nuclear families! Military connected kids - including the siblings of service members – have higher rates of suicidal ideation. Have a proactive conversation with your extended family about what happens if niece, nephew, uncle, aunt, grandparent or others experience mental health challenges.
OTHER MILITARY FAMILIES:
This isn't just about your household, but the households of people you care about as well. Are there other military families you care about and trust? Create a two-way plan for firearms with those families to support each other in times of crisis – or even just stressful times, like before, during or after a deployment.
SHARE WHY YOU CARE:
What are your particular reasons for bringing up this topic? If you have had past experiences with suicide or suicide risk – your own or those of others you know – sharing those stories one way to open the conversation with your partner or friends. Perhaps you have heard or experienced situations where a teenager was having a hard time, and spiraled into a bad place. Or a family member who was struggling with physical pain, and found the situation overwhelming.
Suicide is hard to talk about. The stigma around the conversation is one of the reasons we’re losing so many people to suicide – even kids and teens. Sometimes as adults it’s hard to imagine that the kids could go down that road – but even if the kids in your life aren’t experiencing mental health challenges, they know someone who is. By making these conversations normal in the home, we equip them to better handle life’s ups and downs when we’re not around. Every open conversation helps save lives.
MAKE IT RELATABLE:
Everyone knows about “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk.” It’s one of the most successful peer intervention campaigns in history. By framing the Overwatch Project as similar to “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk,” it makes JFA easier to understand. Having a proactive plan for firearms is like having a designated driver, and that analogy goes a long way.
SHOW THEM THE WAY:
If you are talking to an extended family member, tell them you have a plan for your firearms in case of hard times, and why you decided create one. Share your process for how you decided on your plan. If you don’t own firearms, you can still have a plan in place for what would happen and what you would need if you started to struggle. This normalizes thinking ahead, having a plan in place – and being willing to accept help if you need it.
ACKNOWLEDGE THE AWKWARD:
When you open the topic, feel free to say, “This might seem like a weird question . . .” Having proactive conversations about firearms is not the norm, so it might feel a little weird.
The only way we’re going to change that is by having more of those conversations.
EMPHASIZE TRUST:
Firearms and suicide can be a tough topic. The reason we focus on a family and peer approach is because they are relationships built on trust. That’s the point. It can be a private decision between two people, with no one else involved.
OPENING THE CONVERSATION - A few ideas on how to go there:
TO YOUR SPOUSE:
Suicide is more common than we think, and in our community, we’ve lost people to suicide who seemed like they were doing fine. I’ve been thinking that if I – or anyone in the house – started to have a hard time, I want to be prepared. I’d like to make a family plan for how to store our firearms differently if someone in the house hits a rough patch.
You have been in units that have lost service members to suicide. It’s something I think about, and I’d like to be prepared if any of us in the house hits a rough patch. If you or I – or the kids – started to have a dark moment, what are some protective measures we could take with the firearms so that they aren’t accessible if someone hits rock bottom?
TO OTHER MILITARY SPOUSES OR FAMILY MEMBERS IN YOUR COMMUNITY:
I’ve been reading about this suicide prevention initiative called the Overwatch Project. It’s like “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk,” except instead of alcohol and cars, it focuses on firearms and suicide. It talks about how it’s important to have plan in place, especially because mental health crisis can come on very quickly. The suicide rate has gone up for kids and teens, and it’s something I think about. Kids these days are dealing with really hard things and I want to do everything I can to protect them. We own firearms, and you do to. Would you be open to creating a plan together, in case either of us needs help?
TO EXTENDED FAMILY MEMBERS:
In the military, we’ve lost too many people to suicide. It feels a little weird to bring this up, but if saves someone’s life, a little discomfort is worth it. I’ve been reading about this suicide prevention initiative called the Overwatch Project. It’s like “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk,” except instead of alcohol and cars, it focuses on firearms and suicide. The program talks about how it’s important to have plan in place, especially because mental health crisis can come on very quickly. I’d like to share some of what I learned from them with you, and talk through some of the reasons why it makes sense to have a plan in place for firearms in case someone starts to struggle.
Decide what mutual protective storage measures you will take with your family’s firearms if someone needs some time and distance.
A FEW POSSIBILITIES:
WITH A SPOUSE:
Decide what protective storage measures you will take with your firearms if one of you needs a bit of time and distance.
Change the combination to the gun safe
Disassemble their firearm and take the firing pin or slide
Take the firearms to a local gun range or retailer for temporary storage (many offer this service)
Designate a buddy who could hold on to the firearms temporarily
Move the firearm to a different spot in the house and add additional security measures
WITH OTHER MILITARY SPOUSES OR FAMILY MEMBERS IN THE COMMUNITY:
Have a mutual agreement to temporarily hold on to a piece of the firearm, like the firing pin or slide
Put a cable lock on the firearm and the other family takes the key
Help them take the firearm to a local gun range or retailer for temporary storage
WITH EXTENDED FAMILY MEMBERS:
Extended family often live farther away, and long-distance plans can involve extra steps. A few examples:
Work with them to identify solutions to store the firearm outside the home, with a friend or other family member (if they do not live near you)
Help them identify a local gun range or retailer that provides temporary storage
Talk through storage solutions like safes, cable locks and other measures and develop a course of action, i.e. disassemble the firearm and store the pieces of it separately or hand off the key to a friend or family member
Make a list of important phone numbers in their area, or in their family, that you can call to get them help if you can't be there in person.
Suggest placing reminders of loved ones around their home—especially near where they keep their weapon. These can include photos, notes, or a list of important phone numbers to call during a moment of crisis.