TAKE Preemptive action:
Take the just fucking ask pledge.
Reach out to buddy or loved one to #JustFKNAsk and make a plan now, to have each other’s backs in case things ever get rough. Because it’s better to have a plan and not need it, than to need a plan and not have it.
proactive conversation guide
STEP 01/
Take
Preemptive
ACtion /
TAKE THE JUST FUCKING ASK PLEDGE
Half of people who attempt suicide and survive say they thought about it for 10 minutes or less. 30-40% when someone attempts suicide, they are legally intoxicated. So often we hear from suicide survivors that they “missed the signs,” but the sad truth is that suicide is often an impulsive decision. It can happen when no one is around, and firearm suicide attempts are almost always fatal. That’s why we shouldn’t wait until a “crisis” to JFA. The most effective way to prevent firearms suicide is to have a plan in place before someone hits rock bottom.
With the JFA Pledge, we’re asking veterans and service members to take preemptive action: reach out to buddy or loved one to #JustFKNAsk and make a plan now, to have each other’s backs in case things ever get rough. This plan includes offering to hold onto or secure that friend’s firearms if there is a crisis, and asking that he or she do the same.
Because it’s better to have a plan and not need it, than to need a plan and not have it.
STEP 02/
WHO
TO
ASK /
Wondering who to ask?
The answer is simple here:
anyone you care about. A few ideas:
YOUR FRIEND:
“I lost my best friend in high school to suicide. I know how things can end badly. I went to an Overwatch Project training and decided on the spot to make a plan for my firearms with my buddy.”--
—Rowan
YOUR SPOUSE:
“My wife and I had a friend who was suicidal, and we asked him if we could hold on to his firearms. I think it saved his life. That experience made me and my wife think. We talked through what would happen if one of us ever was in that place. Now we have a plan for our firearms.”
– Robert
STEP 03/
HOW
TO
FRAME IT /
Setting up the conversation
TELL THEM WHY YOU CARE:
If you have had a past experience with suicide – your own or those of others you know – and are willing and able to talk about it, share it with them.Suicide is a hard topic. The stigma around the conversation is one of the reasons we’re losing so many people to suicide. The only way that’s going to change is if we all start talking about it more openly. Every open conversation helps save lives.
MAKE IT RELATABLE:
Everyone knows about “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk.” It’s one of the most successful peer intervention campaigns in history. By framing the Overwatch Project as similar to “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk,” it makes JFA easier to understand. Having a proactive plan for firearms is like having a designated driver, and that analogy goes a long way.
EMPHASIZE TRUST:
Firearms and suicide can be a tough topic. The reason we focus on a peer approach is because they are relationships built on trust. That’s the point. It can be a private decision between two people, with no one else involved.
ACKNOWLEDGE THE AWKWARD:
When you open the topic, feel free to say, “This might seem like a weird question . . .” Having proactive conversations about firearms is not the norm, so it might feel a little weird.
The only way we’re going to change that is by having more of those conversations.
SHOW THEM THE WAY:
Tell them you have a plan for your firearms in case of hard times, and you want them to be part of it. If you don’t own firearms, ask them to support you in other ways. This normalizes thinking ahead, having a plan in place – and being willing to accept help if you need it.
A FEW EXAMPLES OF WHAT TO SAY:
I’ve never been suicidal, but from what I’ve read about suicide, it can happen unexpectedly. I’ve decided I want to make a plan for my firearms in case I ever do hit a rough patch. If I was having a hard time, would you hold on to my firearms?
I know I’ve had hard times in the past, and I want to be prepared if that happens again. If I ever have a dark moment, would you help me secure my firearms? I know from past experiences that it’simportant to have people you trust to talk to when the hard times hit.
Suicide is more common than we think, and we’ve lost people to suicide who seemed like they were doing fine. If I ever have a hard time, I want to be prepared. If things get rough, can I call you? And vice-versa, I’d like to offer to have your back if you ever go through tough times. I’ve also read that it’s important to have a plan for firearms in those situations, and I know you own firearms.
I’d like to talk about that too.
OPENING THE CONVERSATION - A few ideas on how to go there:
TRY THIS:
We’ve lost too many people to suicide. It feels a little weird to bring this up, but if saves someone’s life, a little discomfort is worth it. Firearms are tools. There are moments in everyone’s life when it’s not a good idea to operate a dangerous tool. Think, “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk,” only it’s firearms instead of keys. The best way to prevent firearms suicide is to have a plan in place before someone hits rock bottom. I’d like to make one with you, because I know you have my back.
I’ve been reading about this suicide prevention initiative called the Overwatch Project. It’s like “Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive Drunk,” except instead of alcohol and cars, it focuses on firearms and suicide. Its call to action is “Just FKN Ask” – so I am. Can we talk about making a plan for our firearms if one of us has a hard time?
SHARE STORIES:
Having a hard time figuring out how to bring up the topic with a buddy? Send them a story.
We have a series of short films on the website about veterans and service members who are alive today because someone JFA’d and helped secure their firearms. One way to open the conversation is to send a link to one of these stories. Showing people this works, rather than just telling them, is a powerful way open the conversation. Send them a text or an email: “This has been on my mind. Would you watch it and then we can talk about it?”
STEP 04/
WHAT
HAPPENS
NEXT /
You JFA’d (proactively) with a friend or loved one, and they agreed. Now follow through:
DEVELOP A PLAN:
Decide what protective storage measures you will take with your firearms if one of you needs a bit of time and distance.
A few possibilities:
Hold on to their firearms temporarily or store them at a gun range
Put a cable lock on the firearm and take the key
Change the combination to the gun safe
Disassemble their firearm and take the firing pin or slide
SENDING UP A FLARE:
Decide how you would want to let each other know if you need help, and agree that if one of you asks, no one gets offended. It’s as simple as: “Things aren’t great for me right now. Can we put that plan in motion, until things get better?” or “You seem like you’re having a hard time. I think we should secure your firearms differently for a little while. Sound good?”
PASS IT FORWARD:
The only way this conversation becomes normal is if more of us start having it. If you feel comfortable, be open with others about having a plan with a friend. Your story could inspire them to do the same with the people they care about.
Tell us how it went: email us at info@overwatchproject.org to share stories.