Signs of suicide risk, which include despair, isolating, increased risky behavior and increased alcohol or substance abuse. For more on these signs, check out the longer version of this how-to.

There are different ways to approach this discussion. There’s the full-frontal: “Are you thinking of killing yourself?” Others have found success with a less direct statement: “We all know when things get bad, a lot of people we know think about ending it all. Are you having any thoughts about death?” If you feel that things are bad, find out if your friend has a specific plan for suicide. If danger is imminent, get immediate professional help. Even if your friend insists he or she is not suicidal, that doesn’t mean they’re ok. If you’re still worried, follow your gut.

A suicidal crisis can come on quickly, so if you’re still worried it pays to have a conversation about another way to keep your buddy safe. Here are a few suggestions for what to say:

- You might be pissed at me for asking this question, but it will be worth it to me if it saves your life. Can I help you store your guns differently for a while?

— You seem like you’re going through a rough time. Can I hold on to your guns for a while? Even if you’re not worried about yourself, I am.

— I’m worried about you. Since you’re in a shitty place, can we make a plan for your firearms?

— We all know what can happen when someone hits rock bottom and there’s a gun right there. I don’t want that to happen to you. Can I help you secure your firearms?

Veterans all know guns. They know how to secure them. In this situation you have two main options: In and out of the home. Here’s a quick breakdown:

OUTSIDE THE HOME
You, a friend or a family member hold onto the firearms, or you help your buddy store them in a storage facility.

INSIDE THE HOME
- Create physical barriers, such as changing locks or removing firing pins.
- Create a delay to access: If your buddy can’t stomach a physical barrier, help set up a course of action that at least delays access, such as disassembling the firearm. That can provide a critical moment to have second thoughts before attempting suicide.

You shouldn’t do this alone. Can you get professional help for your buddy? Are there family members or friends who can also step in and support? The more, the better.

How do you know when it’s okay to give back those guns or relax the protective measures?

Best case, you J.F.A.’d, your buddy agreed, secured those firearms and sought help. But this is an imperfect process, and there’s no way to be 100% certain, since there are parts you cannot control. So ask the question, use your gut, but remember that you cannot “fix” the problem. That’s why it’s important to get backup in this mission – family, friends and professional mental healthcare. No matter what, you did everything you could to save your buddy’s life.